Project: Recording album of just rap similes

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Description

I'm trying to sell my talents as an expert writer of rap similes, like "yo, I spit game like I just ate checkers" and "I get busy like a post-church Cracker Barrel". I intend to record an entire album of me just reciting out-of-context original rap similes to a beat, then listing off the price for licensing each one. Like "check it, my rhymes are colorful, nutritious, and appealing like an orange... that's only ten dollars because you're probably going to have a hard time rhyming anything with orange".

What expenses do you need help covering?

I'll need to book time in a recording studio, plus some professional audio editing to make me sound dope as fuck, plus a few dollars for "inspiration juice", which is a cocktail of energy drinks and over-the-counter medications that I absolutely require before being capable of rapping.

How will your project generate money?

I will send this album out to professional rappers and offer to license individual similes to them at $50 a pop.

When do you expect to be able to repay this loan?

It's hard to predict when customers will bite, so I refuse to, and I will commit to no timeline.

Do you have experience or support that will help this project succeed?

I have not tried to monetize any of my writing previously, but I did once say "spasm my protoplasm in her 'gasm chasm" as part of an epic "yo mama" joke at a baptism, then later heard a local rapper use the same line without giving me credit. I stormed the stage and demanded to be paid for my intellectual property, and long story short, I learned that getting the taste slapped out of your mouth is an actual medical thing.