Project: Need cats for my cat circus

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Description

I am a world-class cat trainer, but my entire cat circus has gone missing following a recent visit from the character ALF from the 80s sitcom of the same name. Yes, ALF is real and occasionally stops by my house to borrow power tools.

Once I have a thriving colony of cats once again, I can reassemble my famous cat circus and chase fame and fortune.

What expenses do you need help covering?

I'll need $100 for each of two breeding pairs of cats, plus $30 for a collection of R&B hits to set the kitten-making mood. Additionally, I'll need $200 to finish assembling the portable stage and $40 for a Cameo video from Yusuf Islam to introduce the act with. Total: $570.

How will your project generate money?

I will sell show tickets, t-shirts, and exclusive Cat Circus licensing rights to one tattoo parlor.

When do you expect to be able to repay this loan?

Once the money is received and after two months of prep and rehearsal, we will be getting booked for shows and beginning to repay the loan. The loan should be completely repaid within five months.

Do you have experience or support that will help this project succeed?

I was trained in the cat circus arts by ancient mystics in a fog-enshrouded mountaintop monastery and also used to call bingo numbers at a retirement home, so I think I've got the showmanship to cut it.